I'm afraid it is finally time to say goodbye to my old Swiss Army watch. It was given to me by my brother-in-law many years ago as a Christmas gift. My mother, who was sitting next to me when I unwrapped it Christmas morning, pronounced it the ugliest watch she had ever seen. When I visited her in back in Stuart, Florida the following August, she insisted on buying me a Timex watch at the Treasure Coast Mall, and told me never to wear the Swiss Army watch again, except when I was in the presence of my brother-in-law. My friend Wally, my former colleague at the DU Bookstore, wanted to know if I got the watch free with a magazine subscription. When I went back to Chicago several years ago I unknowingly dropped the watch on the grave-site of Confederate soldiers at Oakwoods cemetery. When I realized it was gone, I went back, but the gates were closed. I returned the next morning, and it was right where I had dropped it. It was too ugly to steal. And now the Swiss Army company has stopped making parts for it. What is the Swiss Army coming to?
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