I have to admit that I am originally from Chicago, and have never seen a bear in the wild. But I have lived in Colorado for 35 years, and that gives me some credibility on the topic, right? And at this time of year, when the bear population in Colorado - not to mention the rest of the Northern Hemisphere - is desperately searching for food before hibernating, it is time to offer some valuable tips. First of all, if you are heading up a mountain trail and see a grizzly bear like the one in the photograph above directly in front of you, I would advise you stop and start backing up. If you happen to bounce against one of it's cubs while doing this, you are truly screwed. Sorry about that. However, if you don't back into one of it's cubs, continue to keep backing down the trail until you get to your car, and then hop the hell in it. I would then - if you happen to be hiking in the mountains west of Denver - drive to the town of Breckenridge and stop at the first bar you see. If you happen to be hiking in Uzbekistan, the principles are the same - only the word for beer when you get to the local taverna will be different. And that's today's wildlife tip. No thanks necessary.
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