Marty, the Acting Director of the DU Bookstore (pictured above), instituted a "Be Nice or Leave" policy this week. If people refuse to be nice and also refuse to leave, they will be immediately waterboarded. This new policy has been greeted with great enthusiasm by the Bookstore's employees. Over 90% of the staff has volunteered to administer the waterboarding, and some have even specified the particular person they want to waterboard if the opportunity arises. Another successful process improvement!
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