Wedding Crasher!

I got home tonight after having dinner with my friend Valarie and I'll be damned if there wasn't someone parked in my parking space - an expensive late model Acura, no less.  I am always hesitant about having somebody towed, least they take out their revenge on my classic 1987 Honda Civic, so I parked 5 blocks away and walked back home.  On the way I passed the Cable Center, where a big wedding reception was taking place.  I was tempted to crash it, since I've heard that those bridesmaids really go for sophisticated men about town such as myself.  However, the entrance was guarded by an armed off-duty Denver policeman.  It seemed like too much of risk just for a couple of free beers. They were probably only drinking Pabst Blue Ribbons anyway, the cheap buggers.